God My Grith

One step at a time, one moment at a time.

Phoebe — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 04:14:53 +0000

This quote is from the anthology of George MacDonald quotes compiled by C. S. Lewis. It addresses my tendency to procrastinate on tasks, even when I should just to do the next thing and get on with it. Sometimes I procrastinate because I am a perfectionist — I want to do a thorough job or nothing at all. Worry also causes me to put off necessary things. It is easier to avoid them, instead of doing what I can and placing the result –whether it is a paper to write, a relationship to address, or an email to write — in God’s hands. Instead, I should seize the moment and do a small portion of a task, even if I don’t accomplish or perfect it at that time. One of my relatives, John, is a medical student. Even with all the pressures of his studies, he has found a balance. He told me he doesn’t worry about the next task or test, he knows it will work out. Obviously, he is faithful to work on his studies, but I think his attitude is similar to Jesus’ proverb “Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.” Though I have many ups and downs in the process, I am trying to change my habits of thinking about time and tasks, one step at a time.

“The Sacred Present”

The next hour, the next moment, is as much beyond our grasp

and as much in God’s care,

as that a hundred years away.

Care for the next minute is just as foolish

as care for the morrow,

or for a day in the next thousand years—

in neither can we do anything,

in both God is doing everything.

Those claims only of the morrow which have to be prepared today

are of the duty of today:

the moment which coincides with work to be done,

is the moment to be minded;

the next is nowhere till God has made it.

Emmanuel

Phoebe — Sun, 27 Sep 2009 06:41:57 +0000

Language has words that point to the incapabilities of language: indescribable, inexpressible, ineffable.

The incapabilities of earthly language, that is.

What is there outside of earth, outside of this miniscule planet with its myriad inadequate languages?

Is there any word that captures the extent of the universe, and goes beyond it to inifinity?

Is infinite beauty, infinite power, infinite knowledge, infinite love more than a figment created by short Engish words?

Any word that transforms this from concepts to corporeality?

There is one Word which captures infinite greatness: the Logos himself.

How did He do it? Not so much by words, though words were part of his proclamation.

He portrayed it. He gave it flesh. Incarnated it.

By his infinite power, his word created the worlds into being.

By his infinite knowledge, he spoke the course of history and is carrying it through.

His infinite love was expressed, pressed it out, in his blood.

His infinite beauty will captivate his children eternally, magnetizing their untiring words of praise.

Infinite. This word falls infinitely short. It and its kin, boundless, unfathomable, immense. . .

They try to define the greatness of greatness by what it is not. Not-measurable.

In Him, the immeasurable was “shrunk into a span.” God with us.

His numberless names, holy tetragrammaton, eternal I AM are now captured by a single pronoun:

He. Jesus is.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Christmas is coming soon, when we remember the Incarnation.

Christ is coming soon. Will we have words of righteousness to cover us? Only the righteousness of the Word can do that. How do we stand under his Word, claim his word for us?

”‘The Word is near you, in your mouth and in your heart” — that is, the word of faith which we are preaching, that if you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved; for with the heart a person believes, resulting in righteousness, and with the mouth he confesses, resulting in salvation. For the Scripture says, “Whoever believes in Him will not be disappointed.”

Romans 10:8-11

Love Sonnet to a Keyboardist (by W. Shakespeare)

Phoebe — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 19:04:53 +0000

In reading my Shakespeare homework I happened upon this sonnet. The Beloved to whom the sonnet is addressed is playing a keyboard instrument, probably the virginal, which is similar to a harpsichord. Needless to say, this poem tickled my fancy!

Sonnet 128

How oft, when thou, my music, music play’st
Upon that blessed wood whose motion sounds
With thy sweet fingers when thou gently sway’st
The wiry concord that mine ear confounds,*
Do I envy those jacks* that nimble leap
To kiss the tender inward of thy hand
Whilst my poor lips, which should that harvest reap,
At the wood’s boldness by thee blushing stand!
To be so tickled they would change their state
And situation with those dancing chips
O’er whom thy fingers walk with gentle gait,
Making dead wood more blessed than living lips.

Since saucy jacks so happy are in this,
Give them thy fingers, me thy lips to kiss.

*amazes my ear
*keys of the virginal; (alternative meaning) fellows

Review of “A Hunger for God” by John Piper

Phoebe — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 18:45:14 +0000

The hand of God led me to A Hunger for God. I saw it in a secular, Indie bookstore in the town where I am staying this summer. It was one of the handful of books that were based on Biblical truth, mixed in with all kinds of books by Bishop Spong, Elaine Pagels, and others. Then I saw one of the pastors from my church, spending the evening on a date with his wife, and he told me that he had a stack of these books and would give me one! I read it, and have benefited from it, but wanted to write this review to help me continue to learn from it, as well as to encourage others to read it.

In my generation of evangelicals, as in every generation, there are certain buzzwords that denote the latest and best. These include “radical,” “extreme,” “passion,” and “authentic.” It is rare, however, for me to meet a book that truly challenges me to live out these words. A Hunger for God is that book. It is common to be reminded to avoid moral evils like sexual sin because they alienate us from God. It is extreme to hear that I should love and long for Christ in such an authentic way that I radically combat anything good when it distracts me from God. What could be more radical than fasting, than subjecting myself to discomfort? Is there a real reason to do this, or is this just some medieval form of self-abasement?

John Piper passionately presents the Biblical and spiritual basis for fasting. He demonstrates why it is an invaluable tool to help our spirits seek God. He warns against the pitfalls of pride, and the unique attitude believers in Christ should have when fasting. He shows that fasting is not something to be practiced by extra-special-spiritual people, but by the people by God, ordinary Christians whom God calls saints because of Christ’s work of redemption and restoration.

Overview and excerpts from the Introduction and Chapter 1 of the book:

What is fasting?

“As an act of faith, Christian fasting is an expression of dissatisfied contentment in the ll-sufficiency of Christ. It is an expression of secure and happy longing for the all-satisfying fullness of Christ.

Christian fasting does not tremble in the hope of earning anything from Christ. It looks away from itself to the final payment of Calvary for every blessing it will ever receive.

Christian fasting is not self-wrought discipline that tries to deserve more from God. It is a hunger for God awakened by the taste of God freely given in the gospel.” (p. 44)

“Christian fasting is not only the spontaneous effect of a superior satisfaction in God; it is also a chosen weapon against every force in the world that would take that satisfaction away.” (p. 14)

What does fasting fight?

“The greatest enemy of hunger for God is not poison but apple pie. It is not the banquet of the wicked that dulls our appetite for heaven but endless nibbling at the table of the world. It is not the X-rated video, but the prime-time dribble of triviality we drink in every night. For all the ill that Satan can do, when God describes what keeps us from the banquet table of his love, it is a piece of land, a yoke of oxen, and a wife. (Luke 14:18-20) The greatest adversary of love to God is not his enemies but his gifts. The most deadly appetites are not for the poison of evil, but for the simple pleasures of earth. For when these replace an appetite for God himself, the idolatry is scarcely recognizable, and almost incurable.” (p. 14)

“Anything can stand in the way of true discipleship–not just evil, and not just food, but anything.” (p. 16)

Why fast?

(With Abraham’s offering of Isaac as an example:) “God wills to know the actual, lived-out reality of our preference for him over all things. And he wills that we have the testimony of our own authenticity through acts of actual preference of God over his gifts…. we easily deceive ourselves that we love God unless our love is frequently put to the test, and we must show our preferences not merely with words, but with sacrifice… Many small acts of preferring fellowship with God above food can form a habit of communion and contentment that makes one ready for the ultimate sacrifice.. It forces us to ask repeatedly: do I really hunger for God? Do I miss him? Do I long for him? Or have I begun to be content with his gifts?” (p. 18-19)

God brings many forms of testing in life to teach us to desire him above his gifts. Yet I can prepare my heart for those tests and train my heart to desire God now through fasting.

“The fight of faith is a fight to feast on all that God is for us in Christ. What we hunger for most, we worship.” (p. 10)

The two attitudes we should have to food:

“Bread magnifies Christ in two ways: by being eaten with gratitude for his goodness, and by being forfeited out of hunger for God himself. When we eat, we taste the emblem of our heavenly food– the Bread of Life. And when we fast we say, “I love the Reality above the emblem.” (p. 21)

“[Fasting] is a way of saying, from time to time, that having more of the Giver surpasses having the gift…. Food is good. But God is better. Normally we meet God in his good gifts and turn every enjoyment into worship with thanksgiving, but from time to time we need to test ourselves to see if we have begun to love his gifts in place of God.” (p. 44-45)

What does fasting do in us?

“Fasting reveals what is really in us… it reveals the measure of food’s mastery over us– or television or computers or whatever we submit to again and again to conceal the weakness of our hunger for God…. It is a faithful enemy of fatal bondage to innocent things It is the physical exclamation point at the end of the sentence: “This much, O God, I long for you and for the manifestation of your glory in the world!” If you don’t feel strong desires for the manifestation for the glory of God it is not because you have drunk deeply and are satisfied. It is because you have nibbled so long at the table for the world. Your soul is stuffed with small things, and there is no room for the great. God did not create you for this. There is an appetite for God. And it can be awakened. I invite you to turn from the dulling effects of food and the dangers of idolatry, and to say with some simple fast: “This much, O God, I want you.” (p. 20, 22, 23)

What sets apart a Christian’s fast from fasting as a universal religious practice, fasting as a political weapon (like Ghandi), and fasting as a health regimen?

This is not a matter of asceticism or religious ritual. The Christian receives “a strong warning against any simplistic view of fasting that thinks it will automatically do a person spiritual good. It is not that simple. “Severe treatment of the body” may only feed a person’s flesh with more self-reliance.” Believers know that “food will not commend us to God; we are neither the worse if we do not eat, nor the better if we do eat” (1 Cor. 8:8) “Fasting is an internal, spiritual matter of finding more contentment in Christ than in food.” (p. 32-33)

By fasting, we do not try to earn anything from God or prove anything to God. Instead, the Christian rests secure in the closeness of God brought to us by Jesus and the Holy Spirit. Also, fasting is no longer an expression of mourning as it was in the Old Testament. Instead it is an expression of longing for Jesus’ return and for the full coming of his Kingdom:

”There is an ache inside every Christian that Jesus is not here as fully and intimately and as powerfully and as gloriously as we want him to be. We hunger for so much more. That is why we fast. . . . We do not fast out of emptiness. Christ is already in us the hope of glory… The newness of our fasting is this: its intensity comes not because we have never tasted the wine of Christ’s presence, but because we have tasted it so wonderfully by his Spirit and cannot now be satisfied until the consummation of joy arrives. The new fasting, the Christian fasting, is a hunger for all the fullness of God.” (p. 38)

Overview of the rest of the book:

I could go on like this throughout the entire book, but instead will touch on the topics of the next chapters.

In chapter 2, Piper goes on to look closely at the life of Christ: When Jesus is going to encounter “the temptations of salvation to abandon the path of lowliness and suffering and obedience… of all the hundreds of things Jesus might have done to fight off this tremendous threat to salvation, he is led, in the Spirit, to fast.” (p. 55)

In Chapter 3 he goes on to examine the attitudes of our heart in fasting, warning us against pride fasting for other’s praise.

In Chapter 4 he teaches us to fast for the King’s coming, as a “heart hunger for the coming of Jesus.”

In Chapter 5 he examines fasting and the course of history, using the examples of Christian leaders in Biblical and church history through whom God brought revivals and launched missions.

Most convicting of all, in Chapter 6 Piper warns us against making fasting a substitute for Christlike living. He introduces us to a different fast, a “fast for the sake of the poor.” It is not even necessarily a fast from food. Instead it is “a lifestyle of serving the poor rather than consuming another commodity.” Do we hunger so much for God that we hunger to feed the hungry?

And finally, in Chapter 7, he points to the deep spiritual ill of abortion in our country. He points out that “the battle over abortion is a much deeper battle for the soul of the culture and its worldview.” A spiritual battle requires spiritual, not political, weapons, and this includes fasting. Fasting can intensify our passion and our prayers for a worldview breakthrough.

Piper closes the book by reminding us that God rewards fasting. Not as though we had earned anything from him or as though our fasting entitles us to anything, but because “God is committed to rewarding those acts of the human heart that signify human helplessness and hope in God.”

My Shepherd Shall Supply My Need

Phoebe — Sun, 28 Jun 2009 10:41:04 +0000

This hymn is one of my favorites and is a follow-up to my previous post:

My Shepherd will supply my need:
Jehovah is His Name;
In pastures fresh He makes me feed,
Beside the living stream.
He brings my wandering spirit back
When I forsake His ways,
And leads me, for His mercy’s sake,
In paths of truth and grace.

When I walk through the shades of death
Thy presence is my stay;
One word of Thy supporting breath
Drives all my fears away.
Thy hand, in sight of all my foes,
Doth still my table spread;
My cup with blessings overflows,
Thine oil anoints my head.

The sure provisions of my God
Attend me all my days;
O may Thy house be my abode,
And all my work be praise.
There would I find a settled rest,
While others go and come;
No more a stranger, nor a guest,
But like a child at home.

– by Isaac Watts (1674-1748), with the tune “Resignation” (I like the tune a lot as well!)

The ending phrases of this song have long been dear to me. This week, they had new meaning to me since I just got back from a family reunion with lots of people I love. The whole family prepared for the wedding of a pure and joyful couple and rejoiced in the sacred wonder of their union. Then we cleaned up after and “all our work was praise.” In the love of my aunts, uncles, and cousins I felt at home, not striving after an identity based on occupation, intellect, or posessions, just loved and recognized as myself and secure to extend that love back to them. “No more a stranger, nor a guest, but like a child at home.”

At the same time, God has been working on me so that I am becoming aware of how I wander from his ways. This time also showed me how I lust after attention and food. It was a strange tension, this joy at being together, mixed with discomfort at my sinful tendencies, mixed with sadness that the time to be together was so short. I look forward to the day when the limitations of time and our sin natures have been wiped away and we can enjoy our family in the Lord. This family will be a family of myriads of people, yet we share intimate joy together, with Jesus forever.

Green Pastures and Still Waters

Phoebe — Sun, 21 Jun 2009 12:24:43 +0000

Blue Ridge Mountains

At the end of May, I went on a trip to the East Coast. I won’t go into the details, but I felt an overabundance of blessing. Friends and family were generous hosts to me, music was part of each of my stops, and I was able to soak in the beauty of different parts of the country. One particularly beautiful place was the Blue Ridge Mountains. As we drove through the green rolling hills, Psalm 23 rolled constantly through my thoughts:

The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters.
He restores my soul.
He leads me in paths of righteousness
for his Name’s sake.

I did feel full, satisfied, and restored after a stressful semester. This desert-dweller had green pastures a plenty, and though the mountain streams were not still, they were refreshing to the soul. It was easy to be led in paths of righteousness, humbled and grateful that my Shepherd was blessing me so much.

Truly, my whole life has been a blessed one, which sometimes makes me question Why God? Why am I so blessed? Why do I have such a wonderful family and friends, beauty around me, the ability to use my mind to rejoice in creation, the ability to make music? And out of that, another question: Will I encounter a time when those blessings seem to be taken away, when the Shepherd seems distant? Will I suffer?

David the psalmist, whose life was not all daisies and daffodils, gives me reassurance:

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me…

Right now, the valley of the shadow of death is still a hypothetical, but I have little doubt it will come. The psalmist’s testimony is that even in that valley, the Shepherd is there. Our Shepherd Jesus passed through it ahead of us, and he asks us nothing less than to follow in his ways. David himself walked through many dark valleys and found God faithful.

Another question arises: What if I stray? What if I betray the Lord, falling away to earthly pride and comfort like King Solomon? What if I am governed by worldly priorities that tempt me to deny the Lord through silence and inaction, like the disciple Peter?

I will fear no evil,
for you are with me:
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

The shepherd uses the rod and staff to guide and discipline. So do loving parents:

Whoever spares the rod hates his son,
but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him. (Proverbs 13:24)

And God is love, right?

The Lord disciplines the one he loves,
and chastises every son whom he receives.

It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons…. he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. (from Hebrews 12:3-11)

He is love indeed. Strange isn’t it, that the promise of discipline is a comfort? I have the Lord’s promise that though I stray, I can never cross the border out of the land of God’s faithfulness. He will be faithful to keep me in his paths.

You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies;
you anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
all the days of my life,
and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord
forever.

Now the Psalm comes full circle. I can enjoy the Lord’s goodness, enjoy it even in the presence of enemies. Right now I am in Aspen Colorado, another place of green pastures but also a place that encourages covetousness. The enemies I face are the subtle ones against which the Apostle John cautions

Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world– the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions—is not from the Father but is from the world.

And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever. (1 John 2:15-17)

John’s words echo the psalmist’s. Both end with the promise of “forever.” No matter what the present and future hold, I can enjoy God’s blessings and feel the holy joy of being his child because I know he will keep me in his will and in his family. Forever.

The Humanist Attitude Versus the Humble Attitude

Phoebe — Sat, 06 Jun 2009 03:22:18 +0000

I can do it ~ versus ~ By Grace, I can do it

I can’t do it ~ ~ ~ I am weak. He is strong

I’m cool ~ ~ ~ God has blessed me

I am smart ~ ~ ~ I have a lot to learn and God has protected me in my naivete

I am a good person ~ ~ ~ I deserve death and Jesus died in my stead.

I do good things ~ ~ ~ My Shepherd is leading and guiding me

I should protect myself ~ ~ ~ I should open my heart, even if it means vulnerability

I am gifted ~ ~ ~ God is the Creator of the heavens and the earth. I have miniscule gifts next to his, but I can praise Him with them.

I want to help this person ~ ~ ~ God help this person, and if I can help You help them, give me the wisdom to do so.

I can’t become humble by striving to become so. Only by watching Jesus. I trust that my Father’s rod and staff will discipline me, reveal arrogance more and more to me, and lead me on paths of righteousness. Thank God that Jesus fulfills perfect humilty on behalf of His children who trust in Him.

Do you have any contrasts of your own?

Seven years ago today

Phoebe — Wed, 06 May 2009 18:33:53 +0000

It was a May day like this one. The son was bright but gentle through the east window of my parent’s bedroom, just like today. There were four people in the room, my mother, father, the midwife, and me. Mama was on the bed, panting when the pains came. In the midst of a contraction, it was hard to see the intensity that filled all her body, but in between she was remarkably patient and unirritable. In a few hours labor got harder and she was more tired and cried out harder. Suddenly she gave a great desperate cry and the midwife’s arms swooped up and in her hands was a little blue creature with his arms and legs splayed out. He was blue because the umbilical cord was around his neck during labor, but thankfully the midwife kept it from strangling him. Our hearts leapt at the sight of him. Suddenly there was a face to the name, “Micah,” and I realized, wonderingly, that there had been five people in the room all along. My mother was quivering with exhaustion and joy, with eagerness to touch her child. I could hardly wait to hold him and could not take my eyes of him as he was cared for by the midwife, placed on Mama’s chest, and then in my father’s arms. Birth is a holy thing, because life is a holy thing, and that is why we celebrate birthdays! Today seven years ago, my dear brother Micah was born.

“not enough” (a guest post by Laurel Rogers)

Phoebe — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 15:32:10 +0000

My lovely friend Laurel wrote this recently on her facebook page and I begged leave to post it here. It helped me meditate on the infinity of God’s goodness.

not enough

by Laurel Rogers

Good
is too little of a word.

It is truth
in Genesis,
Of all that You spoke
Into existence.

Yes, I think it must fit there
Perfectly.

And perhaps it works
For description of tasty delights,
a quick answer to a greeting
on the sidewalk.
Books worth reading,
And melodic life given
to black notes on a page.

But “good” is too small,
Too incomplete
To complete the exclamation
“God is .”

“The Agony,” by George Herbert

Phoebe — Sat, 11 Apr 2009 06:24:28 +0000

Philosophers have measured mountains,

Fathomed the depths of seas, of states, and kings,

Walked with a staff to heav’n, and traced fountains:

But there are two vast, spacious things,

The which to measure it doth more behove:

Yet few there are that sound them; Sin and Love.

Who would know Sin, let him repair

Unto Mount Olivet; there shall he see

A man so wrung with pains, that all his hair,

His skin, his garments bloody be.

Sin is that press and vice, which forceth pain

To hunt his cruel food through ev’ry vein.

Who knows not love, let him assay

And taste that juice, which on the cross a pike

Did set again abroach; then let him say

If ever he did taste the like.

Love is that liquor sweet and most divine,

Which my God feels as blood; but I, as wine.

George Herbert (1593-1633)

“God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” — Romans 5:8