Posted by: Phoebe | July 23, 2008

Aristocrat or Peasant?

A article, Looking for Love like a Peasant, has made me think about my standards for marriage. In this article, the author points out that many times we keep a laundry list in mind of the qualities we want in the person we marry. This attitude is like that of an aristocrat from the days of old, looking for a business and personal arrangement that will satisfy himself. Instead, the author says we should look for love like a peasant:

“The peasant class always knew they had a hard lot ahead of them, perhaps, but they tried to assuage that harsh reality by finding a good man or woman to love. Love was the one thing that might lift an otherwise dull, mundane life out of the murky waters of daily existence.”

At first, this was just a novel idea. Sure, I should look for someone who will truly love me, not an ideal of someone perfectly compatible with me or rich or enormously handsome. Then I started to realize what my own “laundry list” has been. I think it is easy for girls to hold idealistic dreams of the man we want to marry…noble…charming…like Jesus on earth…must like dogs…a good listener…humble… The list goes on. I realized that I need to be aware of the areas in which it is important to have a standard, but that I should have the flexibility and openness of a peasant.  I have decided it is important to be an aristocrat in some areas, but to be a peasant in others.

In my next post, I will explore my revised “laundry list,” one that I hope is wise. For me right now, this is more of an intellectual exploration, since I don’t want love and marriage for this moment in my life. But I want to be ready for the future, and not cut off the person God might want for me by holding to an aristocratic list. I guess right now I am really an aristocrat at heart by even having a list. Maybe someday God will turn me into a peasant who longs for love. But I’m happy to not be in that position right now. May God give me a balance in all my expectations. May I always remember that my one perfect husband is Jesus.



  1. […] or Peasant? My Questions. A few weeks ago I wrote a post about idealism in looking for a  husband, prompted by a article. I said that I would follow that […]

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